


paper roses

by nightinjae



Series: Let Me Be Your Love [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Fluff, I'm Sorry, M/M, Tears, but only for a while, but this will hurt, ends in a light note tho!, lapslock, originally posted on twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 08:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightinjae/pseuds/nightinjae
Summary: "if i gave you a paper rose everyday until you see how important you are to me, to everyone, will you accept them?""i will. and when the day comes, i'll give you a real one back."—paper roses! lumark au.





	1. 0.

**Author's Note:**

> tw// mentions of blood; character death
> 
> nothing graphic, but your safety is a priority. happy (not really, this will hurt) reading!

lucas holds mark's hand in his own, the other cupping mark's face. he stares into mark's glassy eyes, trying to make him look directly into his.

"what happened this time?" lucas asks, voice sweet and gentle

mark shakes his head. "it's nothing, i promise."

lucas doesn't believe him. "mark, please?"

said boy shakes his head again.

"okay." lucas says, not letting go of mark's hand. "okay, i understand."

"lucas, n—"

"i'll wait for you to tell me. i understand, okay? please don't cry." he runs a thumb on mark's cheek, tracing the trails of dried tears.

"okay." he nods his head once, twice. "okay. thank you, lucas."

lucas gives him a smile. mark looks down at their intertwined hands and he gently flips it over, studying it until lucas talks.

"if i gave you a paper rose everyday, until you see how important you are to me, to everyone, will you accept them?"

mark looks away from their hands. instead, he looks at lucas' face with wide eyes.

"what?"

"paper roses. will you accept them?"

mark gapes at the taller man. he had nothing but sincerity in his words, in his eyes, so mark nods.

"i will. and when the day comes, i'll give you a real one back."

"a real rose?"

"yeah."

lucas gives him a big smile.

"okay."

\--

_the next day, mark finds a single white paper rose on his bedside table. lucas left the night before, after kissing mark's forehead when he thought the smaller man was asleep._

_the rose was made out of simple bond paper, but mark saw the obvious effort lucas put in it._

\--

"i'm hungry, lucas. feed me." mark demands as he rolls around in his bed. lucas chuckles, feeding mark a fry or two.

"get up or you'll choke on those." lucas warns, wiping the salt that stuck to his fingers on his pants.

"i would rather."

"i'll be sad if you do."

mark sits up and sees lucas' pout. he smiles and pinches the taller man's cheeks.

"i saw the rose. it looked pretty. how did you learn to make them?"

"youtube." lucas deadpans.

mark stares at lucas unamused. lucas laughs again. "what? it's the truth!"

"okay, lover boy." mark sighs. "so really, everyday?"

"yup."

"where will i keep them?"

lucas shrugs. "in your heart, i guess."

mark groans at that. "i hate you."

"no you don't."

mark giggles. "sure."

lucas stares at mark with a soft smile, and he notices.

"i-is there something on my face?"

lucas nods. "yeah." mark pats around his cheeks, his mouth. "what?"

"a pretty smile."

\--

_that night, lucas leaves a yellow paper rose beside mark's pillow after he was absolutely sure that he was sleeping._

_mark wakes up and sees the rose the moment he opens his eyes, and the same smile he showed lucas last night was present on his face again._

\--

mark was on the phone with taeyong, the older man asking if they could come visit. he didn't know if he wanted to, but he agrees otherwise. he misses taeyong and the others anyway.

" _we're on our way markie, see you._ " taeyong's static voice goes through before the call ends.

"they're visiting today, huh?" lucas asks mark as he sits down beside him on the couch. mark nods his head.

"im sorry if i couldn't stay until tonight today." lucas apologizes. "for now though, here."

lucas offers mark the third paper rose. mark takes it with a small smile.

\--

_taeyong arrives with jaehyun and donghyuck that day. they saw him with the rose and asked him who gave it to him._

_"a friend." he says, and taeyong smiles._

_"a friend, huh?"_

_it was a red rose this time. mark tucks it into a jar with the other two._

\--

"why couldn't you stay last night?" mark asks as he closed his eyes. his head was on lucas' lap, the latter carding a hand through mark's hair.

"i had to take care of something. i'll be here tonight though. i'll cuddle you if you want."

mark giggles. "that'd be nice."

lucas does end up spooning mark that night, helping the younger sleep. he gets up in the middle of the night to close the window and leave a rose on the jar mark positioned by the sill.

he goes back to bed beside mark, both of them falling to deep, peaceful slumber.

\--

_"you didn't give me a rose last night."_

_"i did."_

_mark looks up at lucas with a confused face. "when?"_

_"while you were sleeping. it's on the jar."_

_mark looks at the jar. there was another addition to the growing bouquet, a cute light pink rose._

_"oh." mark smiles._

\--

"taeyong hyung's visiting today again." mark tells lucas the next day.

lucas hums in reply.

"are you staying?"

"i'm not sure."

"is something up again?" mark stands in front of the taller man, grabbing his thumb.

"yeah. i'm sorry mark."

mark shakes his head. "it's okay. taeyong hyung wants to meet you though."

"i'll keep that in mind."

"can i ask what you're taking care of?"

"um..." lucas looks away.

"it's okay if you don't want to. it's just—you take care of me, quite a lot actually, and i just want to help you back."

lucas smiles warmly at the smaller man, walking towards him to close the distance and envelop him in a hug.

"thank you."

"of course." mark whispers. they stay like that for what felt like hours, but are actually just a few minutes. mark doesn't complain though. it felt nice, secure even, in lucas' arms. he sighs in content.

"you're warm." mark blurts out. lucas just gives him a hearty laugh.

\--

_lucas leaves a few moments before taeyong arrives, handing mark a bright pink rose and a kiss on the forehead._

_"another rose?" mark nods. "i want to meet this friend of yours."_

_"i told him about it." mark says as he plays with the rose._

_"that's good." taeyong smiles. "he looks like he makes you really happy."_

\--

"i want to go out today."

"today?" lucas looks at mark with a skeptical look.

mark nods. "yeah, it's been awhile."

lucas hums. "sure. where do you wanna go?"

"anywhere. or maybe we can go to a dog cafe. or an amusement park." mark suggests.

"like a date?"

"wh—" mark blushes.

"kidding—"

"okay, it's a date then."

lucas stares at mark with wide eyes, whose eyes were now crescents.

"you smile a lot more these days." lucas points out.

"stop making me blush and let's go, lover boy."

the two of them leave the house, locking its door and then hailing a cab.

"you're paying." mark says as he rests his head on the other man's shoulder.

lucas laughs. "yes i am, prince."

\--

_lucas brings mark to both a dog cafe and amusement park, riding the ferris wheel by sunset like every cliche couple would. lucas takes out a paper rose from his bag, giving it to mark._

_it was yet another red rose, and mark brings it his lips to hide his smile._

\--

"mark?"

said boy looks at his hyung, who looks surprised that he was out on his own.

"taeyong hyung!"

"what are you doing out here?"

"buying my friend a rose." mark smiles.

today marks the 7th day since lucas has been giving mark paper roses. its been a week since lucas has been caring for mark, making him smile every single day.

he thought it was time to keep his promise.

taeyong grins. "are you sure it's just a friend?"

"hyung!" mark blushes.

taeyong laughs. "tell me, who is this friend of yours?"

mark hums. "his name is...lucas."

"lucas? you mean, wong yukhei?"

mark thinks. "i think? yeah, why?"

"mark," taeyong's grin falls. "yukhei's dead."

mark stares at taeyong with wide eyes. "w-what?"

"he...mark, he died in the crash. the car crash on your way home."

mark laughs nervously, clutching at the rose's stem.

"hyung, i don't understand. he's been with me all week. maybe you're thinking of a different lucas." mark tries.

"different lucas? mark, you just said it was wong yukhei." taeyong tries to explain but mark shakes his head.

"i'm going home." he says and leaves, running back to his house and hoping, hoping that whatever taeyong said was false, hoping that lucas would be there, smiling.

the moment mark steps into his house, lucas was nowhere in sight. he starts to panic until he sees all of the paper roses laid so carefully on the table.

white. yellow. red. light pink. bright pink. red.

and a black one on top of it all.

he ignores the paper roses for now, real rose still in hand. he looks everywhere for lucas, for yukhei, he supposes, but he was nowhere.

"lucas, please, where are you?"

he steps out to his backyard and he sees lucas sitting on the grass, cloudgazing.

"oh thank god." he breathes out.

"mark?"

"lucas, oh my god, you're here."

lucas gives him a sad smile. mark looks up at him. "w-what's wrong?"

"you're holding a real rose."

"i am, so what?"

"it means you're finally happy again."

"w-what do you mean?"

lucas laughs bitterly.

"i'm glad to see you smile again, y'know. i missed that."

mark's tears start to fall, eyes shaking. he holds onto lucas' hand. "this isn't the time, yukhei."

lucas wore a shocked expression and so did mark.

"you called me yukhei again."

"i don't understand what you mean."

"mark—"

"lucas, please—"

"mark, i love you. please don't cry." his expression reflected the hurt mark was feeling inside, but he tries his best to hide it.

"lucas, i don't understand."

mark was sobbing at this point and lucas could only look at him with a sad smile.

"you remember now, do you? taeyong hyung helped you."

"no, it's not true."

"i'm still sorry for that day."

"lucas, stop."

"i made you sad."

"it's not your fault."

"sure was." lucas smiles again this time. he takes mark's hand that was holding the rose, enveloping it with his own.

"you know, those roses each meant something." he starts with a small smile.

"white was for new beginnings, yellow for gladness, a red one for a job well done, light pink for admiration, bright pink for gratitude, and the other red one for true love." lucas breathes out a laugh. "i was supposed to give them all to you when i got you home that day, but unfortunately—" he gets cut off by mark's sob.

"the last one is a black one."

"you're finally happy and smiling again. it means i did my job well, right?"

"lucas, don't go." mark pleads.

"you're about to keep the promise you made a week ago." lucas continues on.

"don't leave me again."

"the black one is for my farewell."

mark keeps crying beside him. lucas pats mark's head, making the smaller man sob harder.

"where i'm at... where my body is at, leave it there, okay?" lucas says, voice threatening to break.

"don't go."

"taeyong hyung's gonna come here soon. he'll take care of you from here."

"please don't go." mark repeats.

"i love you, okay?" lucas kisses mark's forehead one last time. "keep smiling. for me?"

mark gives him a weak nod.

"goodbye, mark."

the door opens with a slight creak, taeyong appearing behind it.

"mark? mark, are you okay? are you hurt?"

mark looks up through teary eyes. taeyong sits in front of him with a really worried expression.

lucas was gone.

\--

it took mark two days locked up in his room crying before he could finally stand up and walk around in his own house. taeyong was staying to take care of him, so when mark walked down the stairs, the older man couldn't stop the gasp that leaves his mouth.

the paper roses were tucked back into the jar but it was missing one. taeyong told him he didn't see a black one. mark just nods.

the rose he bought for lucas was placed in a small cup with little water, slowly withering away.

"taeyong hyung, can i ask you something?"

"yes?"

"who was lu—yukhei?" taeyong gives him a sad smile.

"our close friend, someone with a really loud voice and contagious laughter. but most importantly," taeyong glances at the withering rose.

"the one who made you the happiest since then."

\--

the drive to the cemetery was quiet, air heavy with questions. mark twirls the rose within his fingers.

"let's go?"

mark takes a deep breath before slowly nodding.

"okay."

the gravel crunches beneath their feet and mark can feel his heart get heavier by every step. taeyong guides him to where yukhei now rests, sleeping behind layers of cement.

he stops in front of the tomb, eyes glassy and heart aching, but he smiles, like he promised.

"hi, lucas." he starts.

"it's been awhile, hasn't it? i'm sorry i couldn't come to see you as soon as i wanted to." mark takes a shaky breath.

"y'know, i don't know if the past week was real or not, if it was just in my head like everyone says, but, thank you for being with me then."

"taeyong hyung told me you planned to make it official that night with all the roses." he bitterly chuckles. "you were always the cheesy one."

he looks down at the rose in his hand. "i-i don't exactly know what i'm supposed to be saying right now, actually."

"you...were able to tell me the things you wanted to, somehow, i don't understand how." he smiles at the familiar phrase.

"but what i do know is that, i made a promise to give you a rose once i realize... things." he places the rose down on the ledge gently.

"for you, lover boy."

\--

mark talks for a few more minutes, saying things he wished he could've said back then. back when he was actually still there.

he steps back from the tomb. he didn't cry, no, instead he had a pretty smile adorning his face.

"for you, lover boy, i'll be happy."


	2. 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// mentions of blood, car crashes
> 
> again, nothing graphic but your safety is a priority!
> 
> happy reading~

_20_ _18_ _August_ _1_  
_3:48_ _p_ _m_

"you got this, hyung!"

"our favorite romanticist."

"when will jeno ever?"

"poor jaemin."

lucas looks at his friends and laughs. he was still feeling incredibly nervous, though. he looks at himself in the mirror, adjusting his jacket for the nth time before taeyong pulls him back and adjusts it for him.

"there. now stop fidgeting, you already look perfect."

"really?"

"i've never seen lucas hyung this nervous since he first laid eyes on mark hyung." jaemin points out.

"i remember the first thing he said—"

" _thighs_." ten cuts chenle off, making everyone else in the room burst into laughter. yukhei's phone vibrates.

"jeno said they're ready."

everyone quiets down and starts to move. taeyong hands the bundle of paper roses to lucas, but the younger tells him to keep it.

"i'll get it from you when we get home." taeyong nods.

everybody gets into their respective cars. "we'll see you at the amusement park. get 'em yukhei!"

\--

 _4:15 pm_  
_Lee Residence_

lucas knocks on the door, stepping back and waiting for the door to be opened. He sees Jeno peek through the window on the corner of his eye, and he hears the muffled voice of the kid, pushing the other man by the door.

"i'll see you later tonight, hyung. have fun!" lucas hears jeno scramble up the stairs.

the door opens, revealing the boy lucas loves the most. "mark, hi."

"hey." the other boy smiles sweetly. "shall we go?"

lucas nods, offering his hand to mark who accepts it gratefully.

"lover boy."

"yours truly."

—

 _2018 August 1_  
_9:28 pm_

"it's time to go home."

yukhei grabs mark's hand, waving at the others. "we'll see you back home!"

"sure! don't take too long, okay?" taeyong tells him.

"yes, hyung."

lucas swings their interlocked hands as they walk back to the car. the gesture elicits a giggle out of mark.

"why are you literally the most romantic guy i know? did you like, come out of a k-drama or something?"

"maybe i did." lucas sighs. "it wouldn't be surprising with my visuals."

mark playfully hits lucas' arm with his free hand. "go back to your drama then."

the taller man pouts, stopping the swinging motion. "i don't want to. you're here."

mark blushes at his words. instead of his usual retort of hitting his arm, he stands on his tiptoes and places a quick kiss on lucas' cheek, making the latter gasp.

"you—" lucas starts but mark shushes him.

"let's go home."

—

 _2018 August 1_  
_9:32 pm_

lucas had one hand on the wheel and the other placed on mark's thigh, which was holding the smaller man's hand. the drive was peaceful, their favorite road trip songs playing on the stereo. mark hums along to a song.

"hey mark?"

"hm?"

"if i tell you something, anything, would you believe me?"

mark looks at him, eyebrow raised. "that depends."

"depends?"

mark giggles. "i'm kidding. of course i would."

lucas glances at mark before looking back at the road. he squeezes the hand wrapped in his own.

"well, okay, then did you know that i—"

" _yukhei!_ "

—

 _2018 August 1_  
_??:??_

mark opens his eyes. the area was dark and everything in his body felt numb. he tries to move his leg but it was stuck under something. he manages to look around before being hit with nausea.

a phone lights up in front of him. he uses his arm to flip it over to face him.

"t-taeyong hyung?" he mumbles. he accepts the call.

" _yukhei? hey, we've been trying to reach you for the past 10 minutes. where are you guys?_ " taeyong speaks as mark feels a liquid drip down his face.

"hyung?" he whispers.

" _mark?_ "

"hyung, help us." mark basically wheezes out as he cranes his neck to try and see lucas.

" _help—mark? what happened?_ "

"the car c-crashed. i can't move, hyung. yukhei isn't moving."

" _oh my god._ oh my god." taeyong's voice moves away from the receiver. he was telling the others.

" _help is on the way, baby. stay with me?_ "

"i'll try, hyung. but i'm...i'm sleepy."

" _no, don't sleep yet. wait for us, okay? we'll be there._ "

"hyung, yukhei's not moving."

" _shh baby, don't worry, we're almost there._ "

mark struggles to keep his eyes open. he tries to shift his position to no avail, instead feeling even more blood drip down his head.

" _mark? mark!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> the original thread that has explanations: [twt](https://twitter.com/nightinjae/status/994831930540556288?s=19)


End file.
